12/25/2014
THE SMOKIN' HOT VIXEN'S WISH EVERYONE A HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! : )
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.265397596849378.72209.216191148436690&type=3
Twas the night before Christmas, and old St. Nick was tired
So he called his good buddy who's always pretty wired,
"Hey Eddie Lain, whatchya doin' tonight?
You wanna take out the sleigh, it'll be outta sight!
You do my rounds and deliver the gifts,
I gotta stay home and drink a few fifths.
You know the routine, who's naughty who's nice,
And be sure to visit those sexy twins twice.
The reindeer are yours to ride through the night,
Remember that cute one with the butt so nice n' tight?
Now take them to a bar and treat them to some mixin'
But watch out for that lightweight, the one we call Blitzen.
She always drinks too much, and pukes on poor Donner,
Who's quite a flirt, get in her sights and you're a goner.
And then there's the deaf one we named Dancer,
Can't keep the beat, call her she don't answer.
Comet is a joy to be around,
Has a fear of heights, would rather be on the ground.
Prancer's not too much better,
Hates the cold and needs a warm sweater.
Keep a close eye on that one named Cupid,
Always attracts the cops for doing something stupid.
And then there's her good friend Dasher,
Who often cuts loose, quite the Party crasher.
You'd think that these reindeer would be better aligned,
Years of practice, yet might as well be blind.
If it wasn't for Rudolph leading the way,
We'd be lost, old Santa and sleigh.
This year with the economy being so slow,
You'll only have seven reindeer with you to go.
So I recommend to help you get through the night,
Get yourself a bottle of Jack, you'll be feelin' alright!"
So with that, Eddie Lain became Santa Claws,
He rounded up the deer giving it neither a thought nor a pause.
He donned the red costume, His hair became white
And with a little encouragement, the deer took flight.
He held the reigns tight in one hand, his Jack in the other,
The breeze up his shorts, it was cold as a mother!
The burrito he ate earlier jostled and passed gas,
Thankfully so for it warmed his cold ass.
You could hear him scream the silence cut like a knife,
For he was holding on for his dear little life.
The herd of does dragged him to and fro,
There would be no bathrooms for him to go.
Holding the reigns with an iron grip,
He prayed the thick rope would not give a slip.
This is it, he thought he would die,
He only hoped he could keep his underwear dry.
The wind was blowing, flapping his cheeks,
And being behind all these reindeer, it really reeks.
They also must have had a burrito or two,
It was making him sick, thought he would spew.
But he gave it a go and all of his might,
Singing "Merry Christmas to all, I'm gonna Rock You all night!"
So he visited each house, eating cookies and fixins,
Always on the look out for more Smokin' Hot Vixens.
