06/06/2022
Now I’m understand for in our relationship
The problem is always that we mistake the idea of love for attachment you know we imagine that the grasping and clinging that we have for…… in our relationship.
Show that we love.
Whereas actually it is just attachment with causes pain you know, because the more we grab, the more we are afraid, to lose, then if we do lose then, of course,
we are to suffer.
I mean ,
genuine love is well attachment says, you know I lovey therefore, I want to make me happy. And genuine love says
I love you therefore I want you to be happy.
If that includes me great!
If it doesn’t include me I just want your happiness and so it’s a very different feeling.
You know. Attachment is like holding very tight but genuine love is like holding very gently nurturing but allowing things to flow not to be hold tightly. The more tight we hold on to others.
The more we will suffer but it’s very hard for people to understand that, because they think that the more they hold on to someone the more it shows that they care about them, but it’s not, it’s really just that they’re trying to grasp at something.
Because they are afraid that otherwise they will. they themselves will be hurt any kind of relationship with imagines that we can fulfill ourselves through another
is bound to be very tricky .
I mean ideally people would come together already feeling fulfilled within themselves and just therefore appreciating that in the other rather than.
- [ ] Expecting the other to supply that sense of well being white they don’t feel on their own. Then there’s a lot of problems. And also along with the projection which comes witch romance where we project all our ideas. Ideas and desire and romantic fantasies on to the other people with the other cannot possibly fulfill once you get to know them you recognize that it’s not Prince Charming or Cinderella it’s just a very ordinary person. Who’s also struggling and unless on is able to see them with to like tham as well as feel desire for them and to also have loving kindness and compassion then , it’s going to be a very different relationship.