17/09/2016
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.
And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
(Genesis 1:1~5)
It Hurts but I’m Healed!
I suffered much from a gastric ulcer a few years ago. I lost about 7kg in three months. I would have diarrhea whenever I ate. I chewed one spoonful of rice a hundred times, but I would still get diarrhea. After about three months, I thought, “I can’t live like this,” because the medication would help only for a few days, then fail. I prayed before God.
“God, my stomach hurts so bad. Please heal my stomach.”
One day, while I was praying, a Bible verse came to mind:
What things soever ye desire when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. (Mk. 11:24)
The Bible said, “Whatever you seek in prayer, believe that you have received it.” I then had the heart, “If that is so, since I just prayed to God to heal my stomach; if I believe that my stomach is healed; then it will be done.” I thought in my heart, “What should I do if I believe that my stomach is healed? Since it’s completely healed, I should eat rice, spicy kimchi (popular Korean dish), bean paste. . . . ” However, I felt that if I did do this, my stomach would rupture and I would die.
I thought, “Should I believe these words, or just pass them by?” If I did not believe in these words, it meant that I do not believe in the words of God at all, and I could not do that. I once again thought, “Will I really die if I believe these words? The word of God says that if I believe, it shall be done according to my faith. Then if I die, it means that God lied. That cannot be! I will not die!”
I was able to have this assurance of faith in my heart. I prayed to God again.
“God, thank you. I believe you will hear my prayer. My stomach is completely healed. I believe that it is healed.”
My wife set the table for breakfast. She set up many different kinds of food because guests were over, and in one corner, she prepared a small bit of porridge, some soy sauce, and a few pieces of pickled beef. I did not eat that that day, but I finished an entire bowl of rice. My wife was surprised as she walked by. “Honey, what are you doing?” I smiled and said, “I’m completely healed,” to my wife.
I put down the spoon after breakfast, but my stomach hurt so bad all of a sudden, and I could not bear it. I ran to the bathroom. Diarrhea gushed out of me. My stomach hurt so much and it was extremely painful. Right then, I heard a voice inside of me.
“Hey, you don’t even have faith. Your stomach might rupture and you might die if you continue this. You get diarrhea even with porridge, and you think you are going to be okay doing this?”
However, surely this was not the voice of God. I could recognize that this voice that was opposite to the words of God, who said, “Believe that which you have sought in prayer. Then it shall be done,” was the voice of Satan. I said, “No, my stomach is completely healed,” in my heart. Then I heard another voice.
“Hey, if you are healed, then why does it hurt? If it’s healed, then it’s not supposed to hurt. It hurts and it’s healed? Is this what you call being healed?”
I had nothing to say. I thought about it again.
“No. My stomach hurts now, but the Bible says that if you believe that you have received what are you seeking for in prayer, then it shall be done. I believed that my stomach was healed, and He said that it would be healed, if I believed. My stomach is healed. It hurts now, but it is healed!”
Although I was having diarrhea, I had assurance in my heart that my stomach was healed because it was the promise of God that my stomach would be healed.
I had another bowl of rice for lunch. Again, I had diarrhea. Nevertheless, I believed in the promise without a single doubt in my heart regardless of such a circumstance. That evening, someone invited me to dinner which was at a hotel buffet restaurant. It had 350 kinds of food, and I thought, “Since my stomach hurts, I’m only going to have some porridge,” as I entered the restaurant. Then I thought, “Oh yeah, I’m completely healed!” I cleared five plates that evening. I was so full that I had a difficult time driving and coming back home. I did not have diarrhea that night. When I woke up the next morning, I felt extremely comfortable inside. My stomach was completely healed. This was because of the promise of God.
Such incidents deeply led my heart from believing in my experiences or in myself into believing in God. Before I was born again, I could not refrain from my thoughts, even if they were opposite from the word of God. I spent much time in confusion, thinking, “Well the word is right, but the circumstances are like this. . . . ” I could not stand in faith. The problem with spiritual life is that you listen to the words of God, but you listen to the voice of Satan at the same time. The two voices enter you and the latter keeps you from going one way or the other. The change that was upon me after I received the forgiveness of sin was that I was able to believe more and more in the word of God, no matter what the circumstances were.
Would there be light simply because God said, “Let there be light,” on this earth which was without form, void, and in deep darkness? But amazingly, although we do not understand how, light was there because it was God who spoke. When He said for the water above the firmament to divide from the waters below the firmament, it did so. It was done according to the word of God. Whether I understood it or not, I saw that the word of God lived and worked in my heart when I believed in the word of God.