Full Spectrum Nurturing (2026)

02/04/2024

A hospital is not a prison.

Well, yea, du-doy. Stick with me though because i can't emphasise how many people are treated as if they don't get a choice, or as if there is a negotiation to them leaving, like parole terms.

The terms on which you leave a hospital are your own. Very often, people will choose to follow the medical guidance because it is truly what is beat for them and their baby, and this isn't a "don't listen to medical professionals" post. But just because a medical professionla recommends something, it isn't binding, it doesn't mean you have to agree, nor does it strip you of your autonomy.

In this post I'm specifically addressing some of the bu****it often shared when people want to leave hospital. Things like "we need to see baby in the car seat". NO. For so many reasons you don't have to. You can carry your baby out of the hospital. (Throwback here to when a midwife told me I couldn't carry my newborn in a ring sling out of a hospital I had *walked into* after freebirthing at home earlier in the day🙄) Or "you need XYZ equipment first. NOOO. Because who is anyone to tell you what to buy or say you're not allowed to leave if you don't spend money on something that may be entirely unnecessary?! Or the classic "we need you to speak to a Dr about your decision first". Sometimes, speaking to a Dr is mega useful and can help people make informed choices. I far too often see it as bringing in the big guns to try and intimidate people into changing their minds. I've even had that said out loud to parents a few times. If you're decided, you don't have to wait. You're allowed to just say, thank you, but I'm all good and we will be heading home now.

There is much nuance to each individual situation, of course, but I hope the reminder that you get to choose is enough to get you questioning some (questionable) policies and misinformation.

31/03/2024

Happy 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

I see all my followers who are navigating pregnancy as trans parents.
I see all of you managing becoming a parent and riding the waves of gender identity and positionality.
I see all those for whom pregnancy, birth, feeding, and parenting is complex as f**k when adding in gender identity.

I see every single one of you making the world a better place just for being true to yourselves. Your kids are lucky 😍

25/03/2024

👀SCANS IN PREGNANCY👀

The long and short of it is some people have ‘em, some people don’t and some people only have some. Like any good spectrum, there are people sat all along the in between, and in the wonderful words of , “any routine intervention that is accepted by 100% of [people it is being offered to it NOT being discussed appropriately”. This includes scans.

So, when I say some people don’t have them, or opt out of some of them, people FREAK out. So let’s bust some myths. As a disclaimer, I am fully aware some people don’t get scans due to abusive relationships, lack of transport, no childcare…But in the post I am referring to those who have made informed choices through empowerment as opposed to fear.

First off, people choosing not to have scans are not negligent, nor do they not give a s**t about their baby. They have likely done the research, thought about their individual situation, and made the choice through education.

Scans have yet to be proven unsafe. Read that again. That doesn’t mean they have been proven safe, just that as of yet, we don’t have enough evidence to say they are entirely safe nor unsafe. For some people, this is enough of a reason to opt out or limit the exposure to scans. This reason is just as valid as people who book in monthly scans because they enjoy seeing their baby.

Interaction with hospitals and health care professionals can be triggering for some people. They can cause anxiety, stress, flashbacks, and these people might choose to limit the times they have to go through this.

Now let’s talk about what scans mean to some people. Some see them as purely diagnostic, serving the purpose of showing where the placenta is, if there are any plans and arrangements needing to be made for when baby is born, or if any interventions might improve the health and outcomes of baby and/or parent. For others, it’s more of an experience for the family, seeing the pictures and movements is reassuring and exciting, and in a world where we have control and knowledge of SO much, who doesn’t understand those who choose to have as many as they can in order to help feel in control or safer?

...continued in comments...

09/03/2024

I'm going through a parenthood transition at the minute that's hitting hard. I'm not yet ready to talk about it publicly but I've been embracing the doors that are opening for me as guided by the wonderful after a counselling session full of ugly crying.

Sometimes, things in pregnancy, birth, and parenting go to s**t. There's no other way to put it really, and there's nothing we can do to control it. But once ready, and only once everything begins to tumble out, you can start to see doors opening to new experiences, and things feel the tiniest bit lighter.

Tonight was one of those doors, and I got to fully experience the wonderful and share my running tip with her, which is that it doesn't feel easier it's just cheaper than therapy 🙈

Transitions happen.
Parenting changes.
Life moves on.
We're lucky to experience it.
It's not always impossible.

03/03/2024

I realised that whilst I'm busy shouting about this on my personal page I've not shared anything on my work page, and that's not acceptable.

Free🍉🍉 Write to your MPs, I've been pestering mine on a daily. Keep talking about it. And yes, my page is a doula page, a birth work page, but my work is, and always will be, political, because birth is political, and there are people giving birth in rubble, people unable to feed their babies, babies without parents, and we must do what we can do try and help.

If you don't know how, try the Olive Tree Campaign, for ways in which you can help, or try for more info on getting involved.

Most importantly, if you're pregnant, or just had a baby, and are deeply affected by the news and the things going on, I'm happy to talk and to help process those feelings. Comment below or drop me a message.

Art by

27/02/2024

We are recruiting!

For my followers that don't know, I run my local infant feeding group and we are expanding the team now that some of our current volunteers are moving on to work or other adventures.

If you want to know a bit more about what it is like to volunteer, please join us on the 11th March, on Facebook Live in our group (Catterick Breastfeeding & Babywearing Support) to learn about what you could gain from working with us. Join the event and ask any questions you have in advance, and don't worry, the recording will be saved so you can watch at a convenient time.

Anyone up for it?

26/02/2024

8 years ago I had a one month old and I was sinking into postnatal depression.

3 years ago I posted about how this photo reminded me of all the amazing ways a partner can support a parent to breast/chestfeed that don't involve feeding the baby (think cooking, cleaning, offering water, parenting older kids...)

This year, this photo reminds me of how lost I was pre autism diagnosis, and how little I knew about preparing my brain for parenting.

Neurodivergent parents have a particularly delicate time adapting to a new baby. How so?

🌶The feeling of someone on you ALWAYS.
🌶Routine just f**king right off.
🌶Smells, sounds, the interoception all out of sorts.
🌶Hormonal rollercoaster leading to meltdowns.
🌶Intense vulnerability triggering fight or flight response.
🌶Regular invasions of privacy from visitors and HCPs.

The difference between my first postpartum experience and third was incredible due to how much more I knew about my . What did you do to help in the postnatal period to help your brain? What would you have done if you knew more?

23/02/2024

Here's a shout out to the amazing .

Run entirely by volunteers, when you call or start a webchat, you'll be speaking to a breast/chestfeeding counsellor like me🙋🏼 Probably in my pyjamas, probably next to sleeping kiddos, most definitely armed eith information and support for you.

Have you ever used the helpline or the webchat? Share your experiences below👇🏽

22/02/2024

There are transitions postnatally that are monumental, but don't get spoken about, and are long past the days of interested visitors and regular professional visits.

One in particular is one I see often within my breast/chestfeeding group, and that is returning to work. Let me paint a (probably familiar) picture.

Person has baby, whether first, second, third or subsequent time, is thrown into a new world of healing their body whilst looking after a new human and figuring out how the f**k to juggle it all. They push through sleep deprivation and feeding difficulties, they work hard to figure out who they are after such a shift in their life.

They start going to a local feeding group. It's once a week, busy so they can blend in a bit at first and see how they feel, they're proud for getting out the house alone for the first time. They keep coming, a feeling of accomplishment and escape from the four walls of the house, searching for reassurance in baby behaviour or feeding concerns. Then, they realise they're not the only one sitting a bit nervously, and they start chatting, creating connections with others, relating to the poonamis, aching breasts, non existent sleep... Soon they come to group, say a quick "hello" to the volunteers and going straight for the few that have become their friends, that offer them a sense of community and comfort.

Then out of f**king nowhere, in what feels like a blink on an eye, off they have to go back to work😭 And they go from knowing there is weekly social connection, reassurance from trained volunteers, information on tap, non judgemental support, a village thay cares for them deeply, to having to transition baby into nursery and work full time. I cannot stress how HUGE this is. Such a huge shock to the system, one that undoubtedly will cause mental health shifts.

I'll say here now to anyone going through this exaclty what I say to the parents at group:

I'm so sorry that society dumps you on your arse in parenthood, and this bit of your village will absolutely still be here of you need it, even if it's just in your phone.

Check in on your pals who have gone back to work. They need you. 💜

18/02/2024

✨️ Children at births✨️

"Won't SoMeBoDy ThInK oF tHe cHiLdRen"

Telling someone you're going to have your kids at your birth can trigger some shocked responses. Whilst children would have been present at and/or witnessing births in some form for yonks, we've lost that since birth became a hospital event ans we had to stick to visitor limits and times.

So the most obvious question to answer here is, will this traumatise your kids?

The short answer is probably not.

The long answer is that we have no idea what will traumatise our kids. I showed mine Coraline and that messed up our sleep routine for a month. But they watch Jurrassic World with no problem 🤷🏽 Birth can sometimes look scary, but more often than not, the fear comes from the unknown, and birth in hospital always feels more scary than a home birth anyway (and kids aren't going to be at hospital births so this applies to home births).

What can you do to prepare your smalls for this event?

☆Show them videos of births. Lots of types. The loud ones, the ones with the blood and the poo, the ones with full view of baby coming out, and then the aftermath with baby in the family's arms.

☆Talk them through it, explain what is happening and ask them how they feel about it (if old enough). If still quite young, you can use sffirmations and model positive reactions for them. Phrases like:
• That mama looks so strong!
• Oh my goodness they're doing so well.
• Look at how beautiful this is!
• I can't wait for our baby to arrive.

☆Practice the sounds. This is good for you and for your smalls as you can tie it in with practising your breathing.

☆Have someone to help with them. Depending on age, chances are having an extra pair of hands to help with them will be invaluable. Whether this be in the form of a family member, friend, or doula, you can have someone there already helping, or someone ready to drop everything and run if needed.

☆Book in with me for a Sibling Session, where I chat with your smalls, help explain everything and answer any questions they have about birth. Message me for more info on these.

Have you had your kids at your birth? Do you plan to? How are you feeing about it?

Full Spectrum Nurturing

02/04/2024

31/03/2024

25/03/2024

09/03/2024

03/03/2024

27/02/2024

26/02/2024

23/02/2024

22/02/2024

18/02/2024

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