Stephen Burgess Lifestyle & Careers Coaching

02/09/2022

Over the last few weeks I’ve grown a beard. It wasn’t really a planned beard, it was more of a “surprise that I hadn’t shaved over a period of time” beard. Most of it is grey/white (I could say “silver” to add pizzazz or an element of glamour but let’s keep it real).
I ummed and ahhed about this beard. “Does it make me look old?” “Does it suit me?” I’d ponder. I decided it could have a 3 week probation and, based on popular opinion, the decision to keep it or not could be made. The beard has received an overwhelmingly positive response.
So. I’m shaving it off this weekend.
The whole (maybe long-winded) point here, is that it’s only ourselves that can decide what we want and what we like. A popular decision doesn’t have to mean it’s right for ourselves. Deep down, I wasn’t sure about this beard, about how it looks, how it feels. Only I can decide. Decisions about who we want to be shouldn’t be left to others to make. Have confidence in yourself. You all look great btw but don’t take it from me.

Lifestyle, Careers & Small Business Coaching

22/10/2021

🥶 It’s got a bit chilly.

I was rummaging around for a hoodie to put on, as it felt cold whilst I was tapping away at my laptop in the living room. It got me to thinking that I could actually just put the heating on, but then my northern roots kicked in. Where I’m from, delaying pushing the on-button for the heating is fiercely competitive - there’s almost pride in suffering blue fingers and the cold, as close to Christmas Day as possible. Why?
Lots of reasons, I suppose, but it’s largely a habit. We all have habits and they’re a way of making life easier on our busy brains.
But breaking a habit isn’t impossible, we initially need to be aware of it, then we can work on changing it.
I put the heating on immediately and proudly announced to family and friends I’d done so. Mum was scandalised. But my toes were toasty.

What habits would you like to change?

14/10/2021

Jam

I love jam. On toast. On a crumpet. On a scone.
Jam is a way of bottling summer. Preserve fruit whilst there’s plenty, so when the cold, dark days of winter roll around, there’s a cheeky taste of summer available along with a bright splash of colour.
Imagine doing the same thing with a good mood, a happy experience or a successful venture… we can’t put these into jars but we can use them in a similar way. Our brains are smart and can store tons of stuff. We all just need a bit of help to learn how to use what we have stored away…

22/09/2021

😎 I’ve just returned from a holiday, today is my first day back at work.

There was a time when I’d spend the last few days of my hols dreading the looming return date. It kinda meant that I only had half a real holiday - the final part was filled with creeping anxiety that I was going home, back to work, to a job that made me feel this way. Nowadays, I’m still sad that my holidays are at an end, but only because I’ve been able to love and enjoy every day of them, right up to the last, and getting back to work is only not fun because I’d rather be heading to the beach straight after breakfast.

Does any of this sound familiar to you…? Maybe we should chat.

Lifestyle, Careers & Small Business Coaching

13/02/2021

12/06/2020

That Friday Feeling

It’s the end of the week and usually that would mean winding down a little and planning fun stuff to do.

Lately, I’ve been seeing so many creative things that people have been doing during lockdown to keep things fun. As a life coach, my purpose is to guide others through a shift in their thinking, adjustments in their habits and to focus on goals that can bring positive change. One of the important things I insist on as a life coach is the celebration of achievement. However my clients choose to do it, I encourage them to decide on what it might be at the very beginning of our journey together. It’s an extra incentive to reach their goal.

It’s Friday. Whether you have had a tough, an easy or a plain regular week, why not think about a way to celebrate your achievements for the end of next week? It’ll not only give you something to look forward to/strive for but it will also help you to reflect on what has gone well, setting your weekend up with a positive mindset. Remember, for this li’l exercise, you’re only focusing on what went well.

I’d love to hear what your “celebrate my week” rewards would be. Leave a comment 

09/06/2020

Colour Yourself Happy…

My mum is in her 80’s but she’s a fairly active lady and she likes to get out and about each day. The lockdown in the UK has been difficult for her as she is now confined to her home and is constantly searching for things to do. She has completed numerous jigsaw puzzles, sudokus, crosswords, watched box-sets and fully revamped her garden. However, there’s only so much of all of those that one can do. One thing that has absorbed my mum’s attention (as much as her garden does) is the colouring books that we have sent her. It occurred to me that, for her, gardening and colouring are mindfulness exercises. They totally absorb her attention whilst distracting her from the fact that she is not able to go outside and enjoy the things she usually does.

I got to thinking that, in these times, we are all looking for something to fill the time that we would otherwise be using to be out socialising/working/getting from A to B. I find baking relaxing and mindful as I need to pay attention to measurements, weights, stirring/mixing The magic of ingredients combining to become something super-tasty is always a delight and I’m constantly amazed by how yeast can transform flour and water into something exciting.

Mindfulness is currently “fashionable” but I think that people have been practicing it for centuries without actually realising it. It does not necessarily need to be found in an app or a book. Mindfulness can be discovered or practiced wherever you choose.

What activities do you find bring your mind some inner calm? Let me know, we can share and all benefit from some enjoyable mindfulness.

02/06/2020

Are we there yet?

In the UK there have been a series of small changes to the lockdown regulations and it has meant that most of us are to be permitted a little more freedom to meet up with loved ones and friends and for some businesses to open again. It’s exciting. However, many people are still having to remain indoors or are unable to re-open their business/go back to work. It feels like there is some light at the end of the tunnel but it is difficult to know how long the tunnel is or actually how bright that light might be. So… how to stay positive when things seem so near yet so far? Well, we’re all different so it’s hard to say but it’s already been 10 weeks, just consider that – if you had been asked if you thought you would cope with 10 weeks of these restrictions quite probably you would have thought not.

What has gone well for you during the last couple of months? What things have you dealt with that you are especially proud of? Have you learned anything new? I began learning Spanish at the beginning of the lockdown and I’m quite excited to unleash my new skills upon an unsuspecting Spanish public one day when travel restrictions end.

Let me know what new things you’re looking forward to doing when we’re able to get back to a more regular life.

26/05/2020

What next…?

As many countries ease up on their various forms of lockdown, a lot of us are looking forward to getting back to more regular day-to-day. It’s amazing how people have been able to adapt so quickly to the shift in their lives and I’ve been regularly delighted at people’s creativity in such strange times. However, some have expressed concerns that lifting of the lockdown will mean more change, more disruption, more stress. Possibly. But… going back to our lives outside (in whatever form) is more similar to how our lives used to be than staying indoors and maintaining social distance, yet on the whole, we’ve coped. This may be a good opportunity to reflect on what we’ve achieved and learned about ourselves. Have a think about the methods you developed to get used to new routines and restrictions a couple of months ago. How could you use your new understandings and skills to handle any changes that could be introduced and, maybe, back in your “usual” life?

What have you learned about yourself that you’ll definitely be using post lock-down?

20/05/2020

All Change…

The last few months have been quite a challenge and we’re likely to have more on the way as we work out how to move forward into a world with covid-19. However, I’ve been reading that, despite the difficulties that are facing us, there are many people who have used this situation to make changes and create something new. There was a gent I read about who was made redundant, so he set up his own business to give advice on mortgages; when they lost their jobs two guys decided to buy fruit and vegetables from wholesalers to deliver to those who needed it but their idea turned into a small business and they are now delivering the fruit and veg to order all over their locality. I was due to take a training course at the end of April to volunteer for a charity but due to the lockdown it was cancelled, they emailed this week to explain they’ve been able to transform the whole course to be delivered by Zoom so that myself and fellow trainees can begin the course at the end of May – what an achievement, to redesign in a relatively short time!
Whilst we’re not all necessarily starting up new businesses, we’re all creating new ways of coping with the new arrangements that this virus has brought to our lives and not all of them are necessarily bad or stressful. What surprisingly positive changes have you made/experienced that we could maybe benefit from?

18/05/2020

What shade are your Monday Blues?

Monday morning rolls around fast. Regardless of whatever lockdown you’re experiencing, the beginning of a new working week represents many things.

There’s often the mention of “Monday blues” – the regret that the weekend has gone and a whole week stretches ahead of us. But… what if you can change your Monday blue from a depressing, heavy blue to a bright and breezy summer sky blue?

At the beginning of each week I take a look at my longer-term plan to see what needs to be achieved during the week and then any daily tasks to be completed. I like to get a few easy ones in first just so I get the thrill of ticking some things off the list to get me into a groove – who doesn’t love a little sense of achievement? This helps me frame my day and my week, so I know what lies ahead.

Having a loose structure to follow for the next few days helps brighten my “Monday blue” as I’m prepared for what’s coming up and I can relax knowing I’ve got the basics covered. Any surprises during the week can be dealt with as they come and they’ll add a bit of extra colour.

Biscuits and tea help a lot, too. Just sayin’

What great tips do you have for smoother Mondays?

11/05/2020

Is Your Mind Full?

In the UK it’s currently quite tricky to buy yeast and certain types of flour. It’s not that there isn’t a supply but because the demand is so high, as everyone has gone baking crazy. For me, baking is a little like a mindfulness exercise; lots of precise measurements and weights, carefully following a recipe and focusing on each stage of the process. Of course, I’m totally motivated by the end goal of cake, too, so it’s a win/win for me.
People are seeking many different ways to fill up time that may otherwise be spent doing other things – commuting for example. I’ve chatted to people who have taken up new hobbies or restarted old ones. My mum has taken to jigsaw puzzles with gusto, a friend has become newly obsessed and very excited about Lego and others have discovered the joy in the detailed focus of colouring books. All of these things absorb a lot of your attention, allowing you to be “in the moment” and focus on just one thing. It’s a little like putting your mind in a hammock on a balmy afternoon and leaving it for a while to have a rest.
If you’re feeling slightly frazzled by current events and you’re looking for a distraction, you don’t need to embark on a huge journey of self-discovery in a new hobby, you can keep it low-key and fit it in wherever you like at home. Have a go at what feels right and manageable to you.
If anyone has any hobbies/past-times they could recommend that can help with mindfulness, I’d love to hear about them, so I can have more suggestions for my clients.