23/05/2022
3 STEPS TO REMOVE SELF-LIMITING THOUGHTS THAT ARE HOLDING YOU BACK
Here’s a hypothetical but familiar scenario:
You start at a new gym, you’re scared to talk to potential clients and gym members.
You don’t want to come off too strong, like those used car salesmen.
You’re concerned about how this person will react, what they’ll think, and what they’ll end up saying about you.
You assume you’re already the 100th person to strike up the same conversation and are doomed to failure and rejection.
So, you keep to yourself because you’re convinced no one wants to talk to you.
Well, here are three steps to stop you from thinking that way.
STEP 1. GRASP THE REALITY OF YOUR THOUGHTS.
At this point, you need to ask yourself two questions:
Question 1. Can you absolutely know this is true?
When it comes down to it, you can’t. You don’t know what that person is thinking without asking. You might think he doesn’t want to talk, but you don’t know for sure. Maybe that frown is his normal face, or maybe he’s actually angry because people don’t strike up a conversation with him on a regular basis.
Question 2. How would you feel without that thought?
You might feel more free and open to start conversations with anyone, at which point you’ll realise the unlimited potential for new clients and new friendships. The possibilities are endless.
STEP 2: FIND A SITUATION IN YOUR LIFE OR SOMEONE ELSE’S WHERE THIS THOUGHT TURNED OUT TO BE FALSE.
Have you had a similar feeling before but did it anyway, and it actually turned out to be ok? Maybe you know of someone else who had a self-limiting thought about talking to a girl, still went for it, and they wound up together. There are plenty of instances about people facing their negative thoughts head-on and ending up ok, or better for it.
Come up with at least one situation in which “the Script” (your script) has been proven wrong. If you can come up with more, that’s even better.
STEP 3: USE THE 10/10/10 RULE.
For really tough scripts that you can’t seem to shake, use the 10/10/10 Rule*.*
Invented by business journalist and author Suzy Welch, the 10/10/10 Rule is a guide to help you by asking you these questions:
· How will we feel about it 10 minutes from now?
· How about 10 months from now?
· How about 10 years from now?
Take the same example of starting a conversation with a gym member. Let’s say you just can’t sack up and do it. In the best-case scenario, he is awesome, welcoming, and thankful that you started the conversation and asked about his goals. He loves the input and advice you were able to provide, and you landed a new personal training client.
Worst-case scenario: he is busy and doesn’t want to have a conversation. He is an unpleasant person who gives you an attitude and just walks away.
👉How will you feel about this 10 minutes from now?
You’re pi**ed off and it ruined the rest of your day; or you just landed a new client and it turned into a great day.
👉How will you feel about this 10 months from now?
You’ll laugh about that time the miserable guy at the gym, who is mean to everyone, snapped on you for being friendly; or you’ll have a great client who’s been crushing it for the past 10 months.
👉How will you feel about this 10 years from now?
You’ll straight-up forget about the funny story about the miserable guy at the gym; or you’ll have a friendship and past relationship with a stranger you once started a conversation with at the gym when you were a new trainer.
TAKE THE STEPS AND TAKE ACTION.
Take 10 minutes and write down all self-limiting thoughts that pop into your head. Don’t filter anything. Write freely. They could range from “What if I’m not cut out to be a personal trainer?” to “What if clients sign up with me and realise I’m not good enough for them and quit on me?”
Once you have that list of 10, find the one that repeats itself the most in your life or you feel is the biggest obstacle.
Go through the steps and find the actual truths and endless possibilities. Then, with the 10/10/10 Rule, discover what it is you need to do and take the necessary action, whatever that may be.
Don’t hold yourself back. Thrive.
