Fictitious Company

10/24/2021

Waiting on the kitchen to open

07/05/2020

Due to the various stay at home orders related to COVID-19, Fictitious Company has experienced unprecedented delays in order fulfillment. We can assure you, our team is doing the best they can to keep the lights on while maximizing dividends for our investors. What's left of our innovation team is diligently adapting to deliver as an at-home workforce. As state and local conditions change, our dynamic will as well, potentially affecting the quality service that our customers are used to. We are just beginning to experience supply chain abnormalities that may affect our already reduced production rate. To our investors: you mean more to us than any human capitol and know that your profits are our top priority. Please bear with us as we face this challenge alongside you, our adored fans, investors and customers.

Additionally, in order to meet quarterly profit targets, our social media and web teams were furloughed for the foreseeable future and thus you can expect a reduction in quality content from our brand to you. Peace, Love and Innovations for Business(tm) to all of you.

03/13/2020

Now that Toilet Paper Gate 2020 (brought to you by Big Bidet, a Fictitious Company company) is in full swing, shaving your bu****le is even more in vogue than ever before. Buy our Single Purpose Bu****le Shaver today and don't miss out on having a tepidly clean-ish, good enough to wait until you go to work to wipe, bu****le of your dreams/mild night terrors! There is no special offer because aaayyyy, that's capitalism, baby.

*Fictitious Company is not responsible for any maiming caused by improper use of the Single Purpose Bu****le Shaver. Using the Single Purpose Bu****le Shaver on any other areas can cause people to be like "yooooo. Dats nasty. You nasty," and other phrases you definitely don't want to hear. Save your friends from having to ferociously judge you. Buy our stuff. Don't @ me. Be complacent. It's a good look on you.

10/08/2017

Our strategic management team will include A Handle of Jameson in the coming weeks!

06/14/2017

Hello investors! Fictitious Company will be divesting it's Bu****it Consulting(tm) Service http://findingfaultinothers.com/ later this month so we can focus more on new product delivery. Send inquiries to [email protected] to get in on those fire sale prices.

03/12/2017

Oh boy are we killing it at SXSW! Stop by our booth and try our new Sick Burn Creme™!

08/06/2015

We have identified a market and created a product to service that market. Our customers will not be shunned if they use our latest product line.
http://fictitiouscompany.com/shunscreen/

Innovative approaches to business

01/03/2015

Announcing our newest product line: Beer Shoes for Cats (tm)!
Whether your cats drink beer or not, they will be unnaturally compelled to insert their heads into these irresistible shoes once our proprietary blend of beer and foot sauce has been applied to them. The photographs here are of the prototype with an early field tester, which will be very similar to the final product. The number of use cases for this product continues to overwhelm our staff. I'm certain any user of this product will be able to customize it to suit any bespoke need where your cat's head must remain inserted into a shoe for an extended period of time.

01/03/2015

This past week, we've started off the new year working on our latest innovation from Fictitious Company: Beer Shoes for Cats. Stay tuned for the official product launch as we develop it beyond our prototype. Thanks again for all of your support!

10/20/2014

Do you ever have clothing that you're not sure whether it has cat p*e on it or not? Fear uncertainty no more with Cat P*e (tm) Spectrometers! http://fictitiouscompany.com/catp*e/