11/21/2025
I've spent a lot of time in client homes. It never took long to sense what kind of environment I was walking into. I’m not an empath, but I could quickly surmise whether a home was healthy or tense. Some places were calm the moment you entered. Others made my heart race. There was something in the air, and it was palpable.
I’ve wondered why. There are plenty of obvious factors, but over the years one idea has repeatedly come up in conversations with clients and candidates: kindness. Everyone is looking for it, even if they don’t say the word outright.
It makes sense. Candidates crave respect, which is a form of kindness. Clients want staff who care about their family and home—another variation on kindness.
Why does it matter so much? And why is it showing up more often in private service vocabulary? Here are some of my thoughts.
From the employee’s perspective:
🟩 Kindness helps them feel safe speaking up about concerns, mistakes, or needs. Feeling safe in a work environment encourages valuable input from people who are experts in their field. It also enhances a collegial spirit and a sense of group value.
🟩 Employees who feel valued go the extra mile because they want to and not because they must. If it’s the end of the day and an employer misplaces their iPad, someone who feels respected isn’t watching the clock— they’re already looking for it.
🟩 Why would someone stay late to help? Often because past gestures of kindness have built a sense of trust and reciprocity. Employees don’t feel like they’re working for a faceless entity. They’re helping someone who has shown care in the past and present and is expressing a need.
From the employer’s perspective:
🟩 They want their home to feel happy, warm, and nurturing. Tension is toxic and contagious.
🟩 Staff who feel respected tend to stay. Retention matters in private service because homes evolve, families age, routines shift, and the intimate knowledge that long-term staff carry becomes indispensable.
🟩 People naturally perform better when they feel appreciated. It strengthens pride and commitment.
What kindness achieves for the household:
🟩 Clarity instead of conflict. Mutual respect makes it easier to communicate expectations without tension.
🟩 When kindness is mutual, households become more secure and stable. As trust grows, both sides benefit from long-term continuity.
🟩 Employers known for kindness attract top talent. Candidates routinely turn down roles in homes with reputations for stress, conflict, or high turnover.
🟩 Kindness shapes the atmosphere guests walk into, the care children receive, and the way staff work together.
🟩 Kindness doesn’t replace professionalism; it strengthens it.
In the end, people are kind because it’s part of who they are, but it’s also a choice. One acts on empathy rather than ignore it.
Kindness always matters—in life, and in the workplace. Be kind. Be the Laughing Buddha. Why not?